The trouble with progress is...

PROGRESS!!! Oh how I love that word! Progress makes me happy. The trouble with progress, though, is that when you have fibromyalgia, you will see progress one day and then tomorrow it might all be hid by pain and sleepiness. For example, I am on my 4th week of physical therapy. During the 4 weeks I think I have either had to miss one day of each week due to sickness or other obligations or was in so much pain that I was unable to get into the pool and increase my stregnth training. I didn't feel like I was making much progress. I felt like everything that I was doing wasn't helping. I was really discouraged.

Hope was restored this weekend. I was at work talking to a co-worker about going to therapy and getting in the pool. They asked why I was having to do therapy and I went through my typical spiel about how I have fibro and that I am just really weak, etc. I began to talk about my initial consult and how weak I was on my left side. I was in the process of showing the test that had been done on my left leg and realized that my left leg was pretty strong again. It is nowhere near where it used to be, but it is definitely not where it was. This excitement came over me as I realized that I was making progress even though it didn't feel like I was.

Fibromyalgia is mean like that. Having such a hypersensitve immune system, you have to work twice as hard to see the same results, and even then, results are masked at times. Just like in me, when I was actually making so much progress, I had no idea because I was in pain and just wanted to sleep all the time. My house was destroyed because I just didn't feel like I had the stregnth to get up and take care of all the things that needed to be done. I would talk down to myself saying that if I wasn't so lazy or if I could just get better or if I would just suck it up that things would get better. During all of this negativity, I was making progress. PROGRESS! Again, such a beautiful word!

Don't give up fibro-fighters. Just because you are in the flare doesn't mean that your body isn't fighting back. Remember, this is war and you are the one who will win! You have to! There is no other option. So until next time, keep fighting!