The one thing that I hate most about fibromyalgia is that I never know how I am going to feel the next day. I go to bed in my comfortable bed. I may or may not sleep well and when it is time to get up the next day I lay there and debate if I am ready to face how my body is going to feel when I put my feet on the floor.
Today I woke to find my youngest curled up in the crook of my legs. I must have slept hard cause I have no idea when he crawled into our bed. I did not want to get up. My fingers were swollen and achey and I have grown to know that when my hands are like that that my feet will not like it when I put weight on them. And thus the problem lies...it doesn't matter how good or how bad I sleep, I NEVER know how the next day will be.
I forced myself out of bed after staying in there way too long. My suspicions were confirmed and sure enough the pain shot through my legs. I was texted shortly after this and asked by the bestie if I wanted to walk at the park. I usually work out anyway on this day of the week so I said I would see her after I dropped the kids off at their schools. I questioned the entire time if I made the right decision.
The park was on the colder side this morning. It was in the 60's but for some reason it felt cold. We started walking and talking and I was able to forget how cold it was. Best friend therapy is always good. I was able to vent about life in general and get caught up on her life and just have a true vent session that only a best friend can provide. She works nights and so as she talked about heading home and going to bed, it made me think about going back to bed...and so I did.
Mid-morning or mid-day naps are always nice. Its like I get a do-over of how I get to wake up. It is still a Russian roulette type thing though when it is time to wake up. I sometimes wake up and feel great and it was just what I needed. This time, though, it was the opposite. I think that I actually woke up feeling worse. My left shoulder was killing me and I had to go to therapy.
Therapy was ok. I did the pool even though I didn't want to. I kept telling myself that if I didn't push myself that I was never going to get better. I don't know if I made the right decision or not. I know that the coffee that I drank after helped me to wake up a bit and helped me to clean my house. The joint pain is still here though and it is just dull enough to be annoying.
So I can just say that today wasn't the greatest. I am still thankful for being alive and getting the opportunity to try again another day. I enjoy my bed and love how I sleep in it. I'm just working on how I wake up. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day and one step closer to the healing process.
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