The past 2 months I have had this mysterious virus that has progressively gotten worse, especially in the last 2 weeks. I have had zero energy. I have wanted to take a nap every day and have just felt like no matter how much I sleep I just can't shake this exhaustion. I was finishing up a Whole30 detox the end of May where you pretty much only eat meats, fruits and veggies, along with healthy fats-very similar to a keto diet. Last time I had done a Whole30 I felt amazing and this time it just wasn't the same experience. I felt depressed. I had no energy. I just didn't feel myself. I kept waiting for that energy burst and mental clarity that I experienced last time and it just never really hit like it had last time.
Today as I was folding the 4th basket of laundry that I had put off doing after running around all morning doing errands something clicked. "Jennifer, you have Fibromyalgia! You are in the middle of a flare! That's why you have felt like crap for the past 2 months!" It was like a flood of "Oh wow, this makes so much sense." Some of you might look at this and be like, "Jennifer, how would you not realize this? You have a Fibromyalgia blog. You facilitate a Fibromyalgia support group. You have had a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia for almost 15 years. How would you not realize that Fibromyalgia is the cause of all of this?" I get it. I should have realized it, but I didn't.
I am not one of those that likes labels. I don't want to be the Fibromyalgia poster girl. I don't want people to look at me and say, "Oh, that's Jennifer. She has Fibromyalgia!" So I don't broadcast that I have it. Unfortunately I do and know all too well how real it is. I began to reminisce of the past few months to see what triggered it. (There is always a trigger that starts a flare in me.) As I thought back, it was when I hurt my back at work. It had to have been. Along with that traumatic injury, I have had 2 particularly stressful months while doing volunteer work. I used to pamper myself with "do nothing days" and take better care of my super-sensitive auto-immune crabby body. I haven't had a "do nothing day" in...well, to be honest, I can't remember the last time I had one. I have gone non-stop since March and now it is May. My body is in a full revolt and today the message finally made it to my brain and said, "WE ARE DONE! ITS TIME TO REST!!!"
Fibromyalgia is the closest thing to "a thorn in the flesh" that I can relate to. I am way too busy of a person to have to baby my body and take time out of a schedule to schedule rest. Yet it is what I am going to have to do. After this week my schedule should ease up and I can return back to my "do nothing day" routine. If I keep going at the speed that I am going at, things will only get worse. I share all this to say, even the pro with Fibromyalgia sometimes forgets to treat her body the way she knows that she needs to. I pushed too hard and let stress become overwhelming due to a beyond busy schedule. So (raises up her glass of water) here's to a relapse and working to get better! (virtual clink)
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