My house is disgusting. I think I have mentioned in the past how quickly a home goes down the drain when the leading lady of the home is down and out with a fibro flare. While I consider myself in recovery mode, I had a minor setback this past week.
I have been making some extra money lately working at various clinics. This Tuesday I had the privilege to train in an area that you have to wear a lead apron the entire time that you are at work. I don't know if you have ever wore a lead apron, whether for a procedure or a dental x-rays, but they are HEAVY! I wore a full body armor type for 7 hours! Wearing an extra 20lbs for that amount of time put my body in full revolt. I was in excruciating pain by bedtime. To make matters worse, it rained. While I love sleeping during a rainy day, my body doesn't exert gross amounts of energy on rainy days. I worked at another location the next day and had to worry about how my pain levels would be while I was there. I have been off the past 2 days and have been nothing but exhausted.
That brings me to my point. The past two days I have attempted to run errands and clean. Every evening at bedtime I tell myself that it is going to be a great day to clean. Each day I wake up to my body saying, "Yeah, I don't think that is a great idea." It just doesn't want to wake up. Each errand or cleaning activity wears me out to the point that I just want to crawl in bed and never get out. Today it is raining and it has been a drudgery to push through and keep going. My house is nowhere near what I would call organized and cleaned. It is lived in and functional. That is the life of the fibromyalgia sufferer/survivor and that is ok.
I constantly apologize for the condition of my home to my family or friends. Many of them have immaculate homes and you can walk in at any time and it is in pristine condition. Mine will never be that way and that is ok. I don't think that my kids will look back on life and think, "I wish Mom would have cleaned our house more." I think they will remember that we had fun and that we had family time and that they were loved. That, in the end, is what matters. So if you are having a bad cleaning week or are down and out for a bit, remember, it is ok to take the time you need to heal. Believe me, if your house is like my house, it will ALL still be there when you get better. Hang in there fibro friends!
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